Articles from July 2008 ↓

Comfort zones feel good. They take the sharp edges off life. Comfort zones are a relaxing place to recharge, to heal, and to prepare us for our next adventure.

When my Son was small, my little family and I took many canoe trips into the wilderness. We would spend weeks exploring the middle of nowhere. Each day was an adventure of the body, mind, and spirit. And each day was a challenge to stay safe in sometimes violent weather, or on potentially dangerous alpine hikes. Nature wouldn’t bat an eye if we fell to our deaths or drowned in some river.

So at the end of each day, it was a quiet and profound pleasure to set up camp, cook dinner, and relax, swapping stories about our day on the water or in the mountains. Our evenings in camp were our comfort zones. We needed them and we enjoyed them. Our next day’s challenges were more rewarding because of our evening’s comfort.

But comfort zones can turn on you in an instant, and when they do… Continue reading →

Is anger stopping you from enjoying your relationship?

Does anger management just remind you that you need fixing? Do you feel guilty and defensive at the same time — knowing that you are hurting your spouse, and yet not wanting to own the identity that accompanies that judgment?

Do you feel torn between your anger and your desire to be more loving? If so, then you clearly want to change.

Are you willing to take one small but powerful step? Continue reading →

True love is our ideal. We desire it, and in our desire we want to possess it.

What could be more natural? True love, after all, is the most comforting and beautiful aspect of relationship. Who would not want to possess it?

But can you possess true love, and does this involve possessing the person you love? Or is true love somehow separate from your lover? Continue reading →

Are you married to or dating a person that controls you with emotional drama?

Is your partner so out of touch with themselves that the only way they can feel in control is by externalizing it; by trying to control you with their moods, their purposeful silence, and emotional outbursts? Continue reading →

Do you unintentionally imprison your spouse, or your girlfriend or boyfriend, with how you define them — or can they grow unrestricted by your conceptions and expectations?

Good relationships should be free to change, explore, and mature, without the drag of “the way we were.”

If you hold tight to fixed conceptions of your partner, you are holding them back from who they are becoming. They need to grow, and they can’t if you continually project your expectations that they remain the same. Continue reading →

A misty sundown drifts into your senses on salt air. You ride on this soft breeze into another, gentler life. The wet firm sand of the ocean’s edge caresses your toes as you walk along the shore. You see a small flower; a wonder of nature; so beautiful. It grows between some rocks and it makes you happy just to see it.

You walk further through the cleansing ocean air. You see a beautiful woman, or a beautiful man. You are in awe of everything. Your heart swells and you say to yourself, “this moment is beauty; life is beauty; I am beauty.” Continue reading →