Reject Emotional Drama and Become Motivated Again

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Emotional drama = unhappiness. That’s just the way it works. So what do you do? You could acquiesce and continue to play your tragic role… or you can dig deeper, find your true role, and fund it with a bottomless source of motivation.

We are talking about tuning into, and becoming motivated by the ordinary stuff of daily life; all those simple things that we experience from moment to moment. Think for a second of the power of that: if every new day provided us with fresh sources of motivation, how can we fail to be happy and successful?

But, it is easier said than done is it not?

The emotional drama

Depression, addiction, boredom, anxiety, and worry; these troubled emotions pigeonhole us. They typecast us as a person weakened by their burdens; struggling, or even worse — not caring about what happens next. The saddest part is, forward drive and motivated passion are just behind this thin but blinding curtain of drama; just a heartbeat away!

The motivating power of small things

So what do you do when the usual cures for procrastination and low motivation don’t work for you? For starters, it helps to forget about expecting your motivation to magically return full-force. It hardly ever does. Remember, your drama is blinding you to all of your usual motivators.

At times like this you are far better off looking to the obscure and the obtuse for the answer.

Small, indistinct sources of inspiration and motivation, go unfiltered by your psyche. They are missed in its attempt to keep you immersed in your drama. And you can use them to bring yourself back into your reality, your passion, and your motivation.

How do you identify these opportunities? Well, they could be anything other than what you might expect. Look for the small things. Grab onto whatever comes your way. If it makes you feel better somehow, then seize it and use it to fuel positive action. Once you begin taking action, you will fuel further action.

Use every small motivation to your advantage

Unlike the major motivators in your life, the list of small motivators is endless. Some examples are:

  • A positive development in the life of someone you care about.
  • The sun is shinning and there is a gentle breeze.
  • You receive a positive comment or compliment from an unexpected source.
  • The smell in the air after a good rain.
  • A bird’s song drifts through the window and into your heart.
  • The scent of a wildflower reminds you of happy times.
  • A familiar song triggers your inspiration.

You clear the major hurdle once you act on these seemingly insignificant motivations. As Goethe said:

“Engage, and the mind grows heated. Begin, and the work will be completed.”

All you need is an exit from your drama. Once behind the stage curtain, you are again solidly in reality. You are empowered and motivated to create. But you must begin. Use these small motivators to encourage action. Then further action will be easier.

Develop a habit of noticing these events, and acting on the feeling they bring to you, and you will surely regain your motivation.

The old saying is true: “life can turn on a dime.” It can be that simple.

Over to you now…

12 thoughts on “Reject Emotional Drama and Become Motivated Again

  1. Jarrod

    “All you need is an exit from your drama.”

    I cannot overstate the importance of that statement. You can be down or in some rut but as long as you stay focussed on that rut you can’t hope to get out.

    This is why you hear the advice to do something else for awhile, which is general advice. I think what you have talked about here makes taking those breaks a whole lot more effective.

    Being able to break away from any emotional state or thought pattern is really core to change.

    Jarrod

  2. John R. Post author

    Hi Jarrod,

    Thank you for commenting.

    I agree with you that being able to break away from an emotional state is key to change. There are many intellectual approaches to these problems, but unless you understand and alter the emotional state, you can’t use them.

    Our emotions are fundamental to everything we do, and yet so many people are afraid to deal with them. Instead they take cover in their intellect.

    I like your site. I’ll read more. I’ve bookmarked it.

  3. Loraleigh Vance

    You’ve hit it bang on, my friend. It’s the wallowing in it that gets ya!

    As you say “Once you begin taking action, you will fuel further action.”

    Thanks for the link.

  4. John R. Post author

    Loraleigh,

    Oh, but that wallowing is so…

    While walking through a forest in England after dark one night, I came across a group of wild ponies that were wallowing in mud that was almost belly deep for them. They were stuck in it, but yet not stuck. They could get out, but all they did was kneed it like a cat on a blanket. They were entranced by the sticky thickness, and the pull of it on their legs.

    I think we humans have a similar strange attraction for emotional drama. It could trap us, but we like the substantial feel of it; the sticky pull of it on our psyche. It contrasts sharply with the shallowness of daily life as we perceive it to be when we are under its sway.

  5. Monica

    This is a good article and you are absolutely right that life can turn on a dime.

    It took some time for me to realize that the drama was getting in the way of my happiness – but I realized it and life has not been the same since!
    One thing that was huge breakthrough for me was understanding how “resistance” creates disharmony and acceptance is Peace.

    Thanks for your article

  6. John R. Post author

    Monica,

    You said: “resistance” creates disharmony and acceptance is Peace.”

    That is so true. To create positive change, we have to first merge with or accept the situation.

    It’s like wanting to communicate with someone quickly walking right by you. Our best chance is to first merge with them by matching their pace and walking beside them. Then we have an opportunity to forge understanding and change things.

    Acceptance and understanding is peaceful power.

    Thanks for for your thoughts Monica.

  7. Bamboo Forest

    I loved this article, and it’s really unique. I am in full agreement to your sentiments. For starters, the sheer force of resistance to us achieving our goals whatever they may be is tremendous. I’m just the messenger — I didn’t make the rules — that’s the way life is. We constantly go up against resistance, whether it be getting up when our alarm clock goes off, or getting ourselves to write that blog entry we’re scheduled to do, constant resistance is there. Since it is there, we need to employ every tool under the sun. And the tool you have spoken of in this entry is a damn good one! One that I employ all of the time.

  8. John R. Post author

    Bamboo Forest,

    I totally agree that life offers constant challenges to our desires. We either accept them and use them to further develop our path, or we resist them and have to cope with the results of our resistance.

    It’s a funny ole world isn’t it? Either way we look at it, we benefit from knowing simple everyday ways of accessing our core strengths and motivation. As you say — “constant resistance is there. Since it is there, we need to employ every tool under the sun.”

  9. Sara

    Yep, sometimes it takes something completely unrelated to your problems to be the perfect solution. I remember getting pink-slipped and sulking with a beer while sitting in a wheelbarrow. I couldn’t help but think, “Hey, if a wheelbarrow can be this comfortable, then pretty much anything is possible,” and feeling oddly optimistic. Silly example, but I really enjoyed your point here.

  10. John R. Post author

    Sara,

    I love your personal example. Far from silly, it perfectly illustrates that opportunities to feel better about life are everywhere; in your case, in a wheelbarrow 🙂

    Sara, You’ve created a nice site. I have bookmarked it for further reading.

  11. Nicole

    All of your articles are great, I’m commenting on this article in particular because this and “Free Yourself from Yesterdays Emotions” helped me put my life back into perspective after an upsetting end to what was the most meaningful relationship I’d ever had. I’m only 21, I know that there will be others, but I was so stuck on the negative feelings I was experiencing that I couldn’t enjoy life anymore (actually, this is one of the reasons we ended).

    Like I said, all of your articles intrigued me and made me step back to take a good hard look at how I deal with life. A ton of bad things happened in my life, one right after another, too fast for me to respond to. Instead I ran away from them, trying pretend that it all wasn’t happening without letting myself deal with each situation as it happened. This “Zen” thinking helped me find a way to go back in my memories and look at the bad things from an outsiders point-of-view, showing me all the signs of depression I didn’t see before. Once realizing why I was acting the way I was, I was able to put forth small but mounting efforts to combat the depression. Once that is gone, living the present as it comes at me will be easy.

    They’ve also inspired me to e-mail my past love, admitting the faults and bad decisions I made towards the end of the relationship. I didn’t apologize for anything I couldn’t have controlled, I just let him know that I recognize I am not without fault in the demise of “us”. Nor is he, but I’ve finally come to a point where I don’t need to hear an apology for anything he did, thanks partly to your writing.

    Obviously I had my issues before entering the relationship. I have problems with relationships themselves. Your writing is one of few things that have actually helped get me back on track towards a meaningful existence. You express thoughts neatly and simply, but with a ton of tangible emotion/energy behind your words. I love it.

    I got to this website by searching for something to increase creativity but left with a better understanding of my life in general. Thanks for sharing your writing, I link to your website when talking with anyone I can find that may need help with trying to live in the “now”.

    -Nicole

  12. John Rocheleau Post author

    Nicole: Thank you for being honest and open about your situations and feelings. The most empowering action we can take is ownership of ourselves, our experiences, our actions, and our feelings. It seems that you have arrived at that conclusion and have taken actions on that realization. You are on a good path. Keep moving.

    I want to also thank you for telling me that my thoughts and words have helped you. I am doing this to share what I feel can be part of the solution for all of us. It is an inner imperative for me. Your comments motivate me to share more.

    As you’ve probably discovered by now, when we “own our stuff” we fall into an easy personal power that has no “need.” Instead, we can act on our aspirations for our self. This life is far bigger than we can imagine in our wildest dreams. Live it; explore it; be unique unto yourself — and then share it with those you instinctively connect with, without design or needy agenda.

    I think you know what I mean,

    Best,
    John

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