Comments on: The Dark Side of Secrets http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html Personal Development for Creatively Conscious People Wed, 14 Jul 2010 17:52:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: John R. http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html/comment-page-1#comment-71 John R. Wed, 28 May 2008 04:04:13 +0000 http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html#comment-71 TheMrs, And thank you for saying that. I appreciate it. TheMrs,

And thank you for saying that. I appreciate it.

]]> By: TheMrs http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html/comment-page-1#comment-70 TheMrs Wed, 28 May 2008 03:36:34 +0000 http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html#comment-70 "[...]He who has never been traumatized, terrorized, abused, or otherwise victimized — cannot empathize. It is a lonely and dysfunctional world for those who hold dark secrets from themselves.[...]" Wow.. that was excellent. Thanks for posting that! “[...]He who has never been traumatized, terrorized, abused, or otherwise victimized — cannot empathize. It is a lonely and dysfunctional world for those who hold dark secrets from themselves.[...]”

Wow.. that was excellent. Thanks for posting that!

]]> By: John R. http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html/comment-page-1#comment-62 John R. Thu, 22 May 2008 18:19:09 +0000 http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html#comment-62 Thanks Clinically, I know that sometimes, being present is too much to handle. When I feel that, I try to tell myself to just go down the time line as safely as possible. Eventually I know that a moment will arrive when I have more strength and clarity. When that moment comes, I remind myself to be as present as possible and to take some action. A little at a time we chip away at it. As we do this, those moments of strength come more frequently causing our actions and mindfulness to become more influential in our lives. But yes, these things do "seem" to have a power of their own at times. Thanks for the blog roll addition. I appreciate that. I went to your site and I know that I will spend some time there reading. You are offering a valuable resource of experience. Thanks Clinically,

I know that sometimes, being present is too much to handle.

When I feel that, I try to tell myself to just go down the time line as safely as possible. Eventually I know that a moment will arrive when I have more strength and clarity. When that moment comes, I remind myself to be as present as possible and to take some action.

A little at a time we chip away at it. As we do this, those moments of strength come more frequently causing our actions and mindfulness to become more influential in our lives. But yes, these things do “seem” to have a power of their own at times.

Thanks for the blog roll addition. I appreciate that. I went to your site and I know that I will spend some time there reading. You are offering a valuable resource of experience.

]]> By: ClinicallyClueless http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html/comment-page-1#comment-61 ClinicallyClueless Thu, 22 May 2008 17:16:02 +0000 http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html#comment-61 I agree with you and do try to do this. But, for right now being present is actually terrifying due to flashbacks of severe abuse. I have severe PTSD. So, to be present right now is to deal with that which I have repressed for more than 35 pluse years...it is terrifying because it was. I've come to realize that the judgements that I have are not only automatic (mindfulness helps this), but it also a defense against being present to my pain. I am going to your site to my "blog roll." Thanks, I like what you say. I agree with you and do try to do this. But, for right now being present is actually terrifying due to flashbacks of severe abuse. I have severe PTSD. So, to be present right now is to deal with that which I have repressed for more than 35 pluse years…it is terrifying because it was. I’ve come to realize that the judgements that I have are not only automatic (mindfulness helps this), but it also a defense against being present to my pain.

I am going to your site to my “blog roll.” Thanks, I like what you say.

]]> By: John R. http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html/comment-page-1#comment-60 John R. Thu, 22 May 2008 16:34:16 +0000 http://www.zen-moments.com/the-dark-side-of-secrets.html#comment-60 Hi ClinicallyC, Yes, mindfulness is super important. Of course that is the last thing that our "hurt" selves want us to have. So we need to be courageous to be present. But do know what? If you practice being present inside your body, owning what you feel, but suspending judgment -- just feel what you feel and breathe into it -- it isn't as scary as it seems. When you stop fighting and judging your emotions, you penetrate them. It feels as though you fall through the bottom of them into a deeper level. Each deeper level you arrive at carries more understanding and acceptance. At first, practice this in moments when you feel fine, then try to remind yourself to remain present in your body throughout the day. Make it the first thing you do before getting out of bed. Sit on the edge of your bed, close your eyes, and breathe. Just be there for yourself. Don't judge anything you feel. Allow it to evolve and just practice being at ease within your body--accepting whatever you are feeling without going off on an emotional ride on them, if you know what I mean. Be there, observe, feel, but don't follow them on a tangent. Mindfulness is a vital skill, and like any skill, you learn it a step at a time. Try that and let me know after a while how it works for you. Thoughts are with you, John Hi ClinicallyC,

Yes, mindfulness is super important. Of course that is the last thing that our “hurt” selves want us to have. So we need to be courageous to be present.

But do know what? If you practice being present inside your body, owning what you feel, but suspending judgment — just feel what you feel and breathe into it — it isn’t as scary as it seems.

When you stop fighting and judging your emotions, you penetrate them. It feels as though you fall through the bottom of them into a deeper level. Each deeper level you arrive at carries more understanding and acceptance.

At first, practice this in moments when you feel fine, then try to remind yourself to remain present in your body throughout the day. Make it the first thing you do before getting out of bed. Sit on the edge of your bed, close your eyes, and breathe. Just be there for yourself. Don’t judge anything you feel. Allow it to evolve and just practice being at ease within your body–accepting whatever you are feeling without going off on an emotional ride on them, if you know what I mean. Be there, observe, feel, but don’t follow them on a tangent.

Mindfulness is a vital skill, and like any skill, you learn it a step at a time. Try that and let me know after a while how it works for you.

Thoughts are with you,
John

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