I am talking about those deep emotional secrets that you keep, even from yourself. Secrets held from long ago, when your ability to cope was no match for the power of your circumstance.
Events that become dark secrets often happen in childhood. As children, we are more vulnerable. We are less able to protect ourselves, or make wise decisions.
They become dark secrets because: you never fully understood what was going on at the time, you were hurt or traumatized somehow, and you felt that you could not ask for help.
Fast-forward to the present
It is too frightening, painful, or stressful, to hold conscious awareness of those experiences without the ability to resolve them. Instead, you avoid thinking about them, and you instinctively sidestep emotions or thoughts that percolate up from the depths of those memories.
On the surface, you feel that you have left the past behind you where it belongs, but all of your fear and pain survives, waiting for resolution. It does not wait quietly or patiently though.
Your psyche serves up the same issues, repeatedly, until you understand, resolve, and release them.
But because you are keeping the original issue a secret to yourself, your psyche sneaks it into your everyday life disguised as your emotional response to current events.
It is hoping that somehow you will resolve and understand these overwhelming emotions, within the relative safety of current circumstance.
It would be very nice if that would work, but it rarely does.
Emotional secrets and the damage they cause
Instead of resolving and understanding your past, you end up inexplicably troubled by relatively innocuous present day circumstances.
By now, even if you are able to deal with your past, you are so far removed from it that you fail to see the connection between it and your seemingly out of place present day emotions. Because your feelings are disproportionately strong for current circumstances, you do not understand, let alone resolve them. They make no sense.
Until you reconnect your emotions to their proper place and time, they will remain unresolved, and they will continue to damage you with inappropriate emotional pain, fear, and poor self-image.
He who has never been traumatized, terrorized, abused, or otherwise victimized — cannot empathize. It is a lonely and dysfunctional world for those who hold dark secrets from themselves.
How can we achieve emotional healing?
Over to you now…